Tags
12th man, Bill Belichick, championship, coffee, DeflateGate, Dunkin' Donuts, football, Gronk, Legion of Boom, New England, New England Patriots, NFL, Pearl Jam, Pete Carroll, Richard Sherman, Rob Gronkowski, Roger Goodell, Russell Wilson, Seattle, Seattle Seahawks, Starbucks, Super Bowl, Super Bowl 49, Super Bowl XLIX, Tom Brady
I dislike both teams playing on Super Sunday. I came up with a ratings system to help me with my choices.
Belichick and Carroll are both asshats. – 1 each
But Belichick is an evil genius, whereas Carroll is just slimy. +1 New England
Russell Wilson seems to be a good guy. +1 Seattle
…who blamed God for making his receivers miss catches so He could make it more dramatic later -1 Seattle
Tom Brady would be more fun to hang out with +1 New England
…though, based on his Deflate-gate presser, he might lose a game of Jeopardy! to a red Solo cup -0.5 New England
The 12th Man thing has gotten old. -1 Seattle
There are huge swaths of Boston that can’t count to 12 -1 New England
Mike McCready of Pearl Jam raised the 12th Man flag +1 Seattle
… only because Jimi Hendrix, who was from Seattle, is dead -1 Seattle
Mike McCready of Pearl Jam didn’t raise the non-existent New England flag -1 New England
Alice In Chains played the halftime show at the NFC Championship +1 Seattle
Queen wasn’t at the AFC Championship in New England, singing “Under Pressure(d)” [think about it] -1 New England
I’m tired of Boston still playing the lovable loser card after 8 championships in 4 sports in 10 years -1 New England
Starbucks coffee -1 Seattle
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee +1 New England
Invented vocabulary word: Gronk (n., v., adj., adv.) +1 New England
Invented vocabulary word: Venti -1 Seattle
Richard Sherman, he’s really smart +1 Seattle
The Legion of Boom shtick is getting way old -1 Seattle
Seattle lost an NBA team to freakin’ Oklahoma, OKLAHOMA! -1 Seattle
The NFL is trying to restore credibility by focusing on inflated footballs and not deflated craniums +1 New England sympathy
Belichick might have rigged Deflate-gate as a ‘they don’t respect us’ distraction -0.5 New England
…if he did, that’s some next-level shit-stirring +1.5 New England (conditional)
Tedy Bruschi is overrated and can die in a telestrator accident -1 New England
Paul Allen +1 Seattle
ROB GRONKOWSKI IS A NATIONAL FREAKING TREASURE +10 New England
So… go Pats, I guess.
