I dislike both teams playing on Super Sunday. I came up with a ratings system to help me with my choices.
Belichick and Carroll are both asshats. – 1 each
But Belichick is an evil genius, whereas Carroll is just slimy. +1 New England
Russell Wilson seems to be a good guy. +1 Seattle
…who blamed God for making his receivers miss catches so He could make it more dramatic later -1 Seattle
Tom Brady would be more fun to hang out with +1 New England
…though, based on his Deflate-gate presser, he might lose a game of Jeopardy! to a red Solo cup -0.5 New England
The 12th Man thing has gotten old. -1 Seattle
There are huge swaths of Boston that can’t count to 12 -1 New England
Mike McCready of Pearl Jam raised the 12th Man flag +1 Seattle
… only because Jimi Hendrix, who was from Seattle, is dead -1 Seattle
Mike McCready of Pearl Jam didn’t raise the non-existent New England flag -1 New England
Alice In Chains played the halftime show at the NFC Championship +1 Seattle
Queen wasn’t at the AFC Championship in New England, singing “Under Pressure(d)” [think about it] -1 New England
I’m tired of Boston still playing the lovable loser card after 8 championships in 4 sports in 10 years -1 New England
Starbucks coffee -1 Seattle
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee +1 New England
Invented vocabulary word: Gronk (n., v., adj., adv.) +1 New England
Invented vocabulary word: Venti -1 Seattle
Richard Sherman, he’s really smart +1 Seattle
The Legion of Boom shtick is getting way old -1 Seattle
Seattle lost an NBA team to freakin’ Oklahoma, OKLAHOMA! -1 Seattle
The NFL is trying to restore credibility by focusing on inflated footballs and not deflated craniums +1 New England sympathy
Belichick might have rigged Deflate-gate as a ‘they don’t respect us’ distraction -0.5 New England
…if he did, that’s some next-level shit-stirring +1.5 New England (conditional)
Tedy Bruschi is overrated and can die in a telestrator accident -1 New England
Paul Allen +1 Seattle
ROB GRONKOWSKI IS A NATIONAL FREAKING TREASURE +10 New England
So… go Pats, I guess.